He is the One. The light of Christ shines through Him because love is in Him and His heart is full of God’s heart. This is the knowledge of the holy unity that I long for when I see Jesus.
This is the thought I’ve had several times when I meet someone who reminds me of Jesus. Have you ever seen that? Felt that?
I was with an author this weekend who leaves me feeling that familiar longing to be united with Jesus. She reminded me of all the times I’ve met these special people, and how I learned about Him as a kid and always wondered how I could come to love Him like others did. I longed for it, but I felt distant from Him. I’d write about it, how I just wanted to feel it and believe He was real, but I always felt I was too full of doubt, too cynical maybe, not serious enough about it. My mind would wander and I’d soon get distracted again by life and plans.
Until I’d meet another One. Sometimes a glimmer, other times unmistakable. And I’d feel this welling up, the ease with which my heart could break again. And I’d want to be distracted from it, but also never want to be distracted from it again. Every time, I’d have this hope that I might learn to wait well.
I don’t know how much this had to do with my wanting to become a writer, but I do know this learning to wait well is key for writing and for holding onto the higher purpose.
My guess is, if you’re reading this, you’re like me and you want to write and wait well too. I have to remind myself constantly of what I know:
Be expectant. Be watchful. Be vigilant.
You don’t know the time or hour. So you show up. Do your job. And let the record show you were here for your part. You acted in faith.
That’s what I tell myself: when you embrace your doubts and act in faith, then you can believe He’ll come as He has so often before, to take your keen attention to your ordinary experience and make special confirmations of His unmistakable love.
He did that all this weekend as we talked about the new book, and went to restaurants, and walked on the beach. I remembered how the Bible is full of doubters who still saw God show up. Moses, Abraham, David, Sarah, Ruth, Jonah, Job. Judges 6 is where Gideon puts out the fleece as a test for God. Earlier, an angel has told him he’s going to save Israel from their oppression, but Gideon felt unworthy. He asked for proof there too, and the angel brought fire out of a rock. Gideon built an altar as a reminder. But he still needed the proof that God would be with him.
Don’t we all need continual proof? And doesn’t God know this? Why should we be ashamed of it? He loves to prove himself to us. The lesson I find here and elsewhere throughout the Bible is: Accept your doubts and ask Him for proof. Then be watchful and He’ll show you He is here, with you.
Because no matter what you do, that’s what you’re really after anyway.
“I want to take your word and shine it all around, But first, help me just to live it, Lord!”
If we knew His love for us, we’d have a much easier time living like Jesus. But even Jesus doubted His path and didn’t see it clearly. Look at Him in the garden of Gethsemane. Look how He had to continually get away to pray and reaffirm, remind, reestablish His own heart and mind with what He knew.
Being tempted is not failure. Wavering is not sin. Doubt strengthens faith. Never deny it!
Instead, embrace it, and while you’re waiting for God to show up, be watchful and your hope and faith and love for Him will grow when He finally does.
For writers, creators, storytellers, or anyone, it’s always been true: Doubt is necessary because faith is just doubt in action.
For the higher purpose,