God, I just want to do something for you. I don’t know what, but something. It’s not goin to be much, I know. I’m too small. You know I’m too small. The world’s too big and messed up. I mean, you’ve seen this mess. You see it, don’t you? It just seems something ought to be done about it, but I don’t know what to do. Tell me what to do. How can I do something? How can I not do something? Anything. I know I don’t have much of anything. Nothing, really, but this experience to share. Can it help? Who could be helped? I can’t see how anyone could be helped by this. Everyone in their own lives, their own pain and experience. How can they relate? How can there be inspiration in this little piece I have? This little piece of life—my portion. It’s too small, God. You know it is.
So you have to take it. You can make it bigger. It’s only something because of you. Please tell me you’re going to take it. I know if you took it, someone could use it. At least someone. I’ll never be any bigger. You know I won’t. You made me. You know you have to use it. Can the created be more than the creator? The man more than the maker? It’s foolishness, God. But you know that’s what’s being said. Can I do anything about it? Can anyone? Can anyone unstir the world? Can anyone hear again after losing their ears? Can anyone see after they’ve been blinded? Is there any sanity left when sanity is gone?
Take what I have, God. Just take it and don’t leave me with anything. I don’t want it. It will all break down if I keep any of it. It will all turn bad. Just take it all. Take it all and make it more. Make it clean and pure and bright. God, it has to be yours. Make it yours, God, not mine. Tear it from my hands if you have to, God. I know, it’s a blessing. Empty me out. Leave me nothing. Nothing left to be burned up. All my thoughts, ideas, talents, emotions, mind, body, soul. It’s all yours. Choices, preferences, opinions, freedoms, rights. They’re not mine. There’s nothing I have that’s mine. There’s only these things that are yours.
I know it’s not anything you need. You don’t need anything. Everything will happen. It’ll all happen anyway. But I want to do this. I have to do this. It’s all there is. Otherwise it’s just passing time. Time passing, walking down the road, doing nothing, going nowhere. You don’t need it. But I do. You know I need it. And even that need is from you, somehow yours, in the end.
And maybe that is something. Or maybe it will be. In the end.