Resiliency, Big Life Changes Like Moving and Shopping for Pants

Sharing is nice

Greetings from Grand Rapids!

I’ve just arrived at work, which means I didn’t get to writing this on Sunday, as used to be the goal. It also means this post will probably be slapdash and not as useful as it could be. (But that’s what editing is for!)

We were busy all day Sunday shopping for all the things. Winter is coming, yeah? Happily, we found what we needed, though it wasn’t easy.

FullBody.jpg

Do your worst, winter!

Shopping. Ugh. It’s such a luxury. And yet I still tend to prefer a trip to the dentist to trying on pants. Why? Maybe I’m just against having to search amongst so many other glassy-eyed men for the least horrible style, in the least unwearable color, and in my smaller-than-average size. I’d search online but Sheri is unreasonably against me looking like I search online for my pants.

Well, and who doesn’t like that squeaky-teeth-clean feeling from the dentist?

So I’ve got some pants now. And a new shirt and a sweater (not the full-body style above, sadly). I also got some office plants, hoping the investment of some small effort will lead to bigger rewards.

And as I take a deep breath this morning to reflect on all that’s changed since last year (even last month!), the major feeling is one of relief–I’m not too overwhelmed yet. Great gratitude stars go to my wife and daughters for following me here to the northeast, just in time for the winter tundra fun. I’m not just grateful for the commitment it shows to me and my career. It’s also their personal support of the greater enjoyment and engagement in doing challenging things, the adventures we’re always talking about having in life, the kind that I very much long for.

And that ambition, the one for exciting new things to experience and learn and get to enjoy together, is really a desire to progress in life, where life = lots of change. A big move like this can be the birthplace of some amazing contributions to our fellow man and woman.

But I want to parse ambition because ambition for winning a gazillion smackers, on the other hand, can easily take the place of making amazing contributions to your fellow man, and of enjoying and being actively engaged in your life. That’s not the kind of ambition you or I want to have.

Back in August, when I took this new job at Zondervan, the change was fast. Life can turn on a dime. The plan and players can all change, and what might have been (for years and years) may never be again. There’s some loss and real grief to process there, and very little time in which to do it. There are deep heart words to share, challenges to meet, and new opportunities to grow and employ our gifts in myriad ways, seemingly around every corner.

Here, it’s clear, our great need is for resiliency. The ability to withstand change.

The house needs attention, boxes need unpacking, and neighbors need introductions. How true it is that “life will not stop for us to catch up.” If the real work we should be doing is “preparing for the future” it’ll have to wait until we’ve gotten the time change and this eating-and-sleeping-with-some-regularity situation figured out.

Again, resiliency. The ability to resist the undertow. This skill must be acquired.

What keeps you going when the changes beat you down in life? What makes you get up when you experience setbacks and hard things? Brene Brown and several current self-help productivity gurus have familiarized this idea of resiliency, but I see it the ability to respond appropriately when big life changes come. It’s not about ignoring the hard, or denying your emotions. No, it’s responding well to change. Which means many adjustments. Which means preparation should be a primary activity for all of us.

Because you may not be moving across the country soon, but you can be sure there are big changes coming. And even changes for the better bring all kinds of hard stuff too. Keeping your wits about you in order to adjust and prepare and buy your full-body sweaters for winter is why resiliency is so much of the key to everything.

We have so many preparations to make–school, work, travel, money, life goals, and people to meet. It’s overwhelming, of course. And it’ll involve learning to keep our heads together better in the midst of it all, not getting distracted from the small by all the seemingly big. And I have to admit I’m daunted. How am I going to do this?

Maybe another metaphor here: both my girls (one 7th and one 10th grade) are learning new math this year. And we all are. The work of adding up all the preparations we’re learning to complete can be brain-busting. But if we can 1) stick to our process and 2) go bird by bird, it could also be fun to find new capabilities and capacities, be equipped with some new knowledge. Because the thing is none of us knows what we don’t know–we don’t even know that we don’t know it. There’s a bigger plan than all our ambitions can account for, and even good ambition requires a continual recommitment to gratitude for the chance to experience the new and be chosen for such an amazing mission.

No matter what happens, there’s always something you’re being prepared for. There’s so much more to come. And that’s motivating.

motivation.jpg

 

Or maybe it’s just what I need to hear right now as I stare down a mountain to climb. The fuzzy outline of my bigger mission here in Michigan is still emerging. But while it does, it’s good to be reminded to enjoy and keep resiliencing….

It’s a verb. Of course it is. I’m an editor so you can trust me.

In the meantime, you can imagine me sporting some new pants and a new sweater while I search the internet for articles on how to keep office succulents alive.

For the much higher purposes to come,

Mick

Sharing is nice

7 thoughts on “Resiliency, Big Life Changes Like Moving and Shopping for Pants”

  1. Thanks, Mick, for the reminder even good changes involve grief mingled with joy. I appreciate your suggestion not to ignore/deny the painful stuff in life. Changes, setbacks, and hard things make my flesh want to curl up and cry; but my spirit presses into the hope I find in the unchanging Christ.
    I’m smack in the middle of change I didn’t see coming. But grace.
    Blessings as you and your family are drawn closer through this exciting journey. Our family is finding deeper intimacy in our deep place too.
    Grace blessings ~ Wendy Mac

    1. Good for you, Wendy! Sounds like you’ve got some excellent perspective on the real stuff of life there. Find support and keep reaching out! – M

  2. “What keeps you going when the changes beat you down in life? What makes you get up when you experience setbacks and hard things?” Oh, my friend. Once again, and on vacation no less (lol), you give me much to think about. Thank you for always being willing to voice what so many of us are struggling with, and helping us think, process, and grow. You are so appreciated!

    1. Glad to hear you can apply it! We’re all going through many things. And I can often use the encouragement to keep my eyes open to the real heart matters. In fact, when I’m not, I can tell because I start getting focused on so much that doesn’t matter! Hope vacation is relaxing! – M

  3. I well remember that fashion-forward sweater suit picture, ’cause you sent it as a comment to one of my blogs! I only wish you would get a picture of yourself wearing the thing. Sheri needs to start knitting since a Michigan winter is not to be taken lightly and she doesn’t have much time left til the flakes fly. Just sayin’ . . .
    Love
    Suzee B

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.